The seasons, they go round and round. This Joni Mitchell song has been running through my head for months. Hard to believe it is almost October. Fall is my favorite season. I love the weather, the leaves changing, the colors, football, marching band, both of my kid's birthdays. Normally I want to drag my feet during this time of year - slow time down as much as possible. I feel like my cancer journey is one big circle game, but one I would like to be over with as quickly as possible. If only we could wish the bad stuff away while keeping the good stuff. So a health update for those interested.
My 2 year scan was September 16th. This time I had an ultrasound (I alternate between mammogram and ultrasound every six months). This ultrasound uses a mesh screen and the camera moves around the entirety of the breast. It's a lot of pressure and can be painful, especially where I had radiation and surgery. The results were great! All clear Bi-RAD 1 and 2, respectively. I have had quite a few people ask me if this means I am in remission. Yes, as far as I have no active disease. I am still in treatment to prevent reoccurrence (more on that below.) If you are interested, this is a good snapshot of what the timeline looks like. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/8328-breast-cancer-recurrence Not finished this journey yet (not sure I ever will be), but a clear scan is always a sign of relief.
The myriad of side effects from all of the medicines remain my biggest challenge, the worst being major weight gain, joint pain and high blood pressure. My PCP and Oncologist are working together to find the best cancer cocktail for me (not the fun kind of cocktail) but my body just does not love what's happening. Data is overwhelmingly in favor of this treatment for at least 5 years, but I am not sure how much longer I am willing to manage these side effects. Being fully transparent, the weight gain is really hard for me, as I think it might be for most women. The weight gain makes me feel like a failure. This is the side of the cancer long game that no one seems to talk about, but it's very real for those of us that are in this treatment plan.
As Joni Mitchell says
"We can't return, we can only look
Behind, from where we came
And go round and round and round, in the circle game."
Comments